May 20, 2008

The Clock- Part Two

I was rereading my previous posts and I now realize I was a little cavalier and a bit too early when I wrote The Clock . Because now at 25 days and counting, I’m officially freaked. Very freaked.

I have all but abandoned the idea of “a good night’s sleep”. I either toss and turn all night, or just lie there, watching the clock countdown the hours till work. I can’t turn my brain off and in the dark dead of night my spinning mind makes the most trivial problems seem monumental. I find myself being angry at just about everyone. These aren’t the type of problems you can fix with a cheque, or a spreadsheet, or a helpful bridesmaid. They are human ones, family ones, and friends ones. The ones that have you silently screaming, “Why don’t they understand? Why can’t they see how important this is??”

When dawn comes, it shines the light of truth on the issue. I won’t spend any of my waking moments thinking about them, they really are inconsequential in the grand scheme of life. But I know when the lights go out tonight they will be waiting for me, lurking beneath my bed, and hiding in my closet, waiting for me to close my eyes…

I apologize for the dire post. Really, I do. But I thought I would be honest. But I do promise an upbeat post next. Something fabulous and funny. I just don't have it in me this morning. Yawn.


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