October 2, 2008

Reindeer games?

A-line, trumpet, mermaid, empire. Full skirt or figure hugging skirt? Chiffon or taffeta, satin or silk? And do I want beads? Lace? Embroidery? Appliques? Sweetheart? V-neck? Strapless? Halter? A train? How long?

The dress shopping has begun.

Now I knew there were lots of options out there. The wedding biz is big biz after all. I’ve seen the magazines and their ads, drooled over various designers’ websites, checked out the real brides’ dresses on various websites, and boned up on the lingo and prices.

I figured I knew what I wanted… the colour had to look good against my fair skin and as a backdrop for my crazy curly red hair. The cut and shape had to make my stocky Scotch/Irish frame look as hourglass as possible. The bodice had to lock and load my generous bust, keeping it firmly under wraps and hidden. Ideally I wanted a corset back to accommodate weight fluctuations and possible overeating on The Day. The skirt had to be full length and not at all ballerina-esque and needed a small train if any at all. I’m not a fan of chiffon so I knew I wanted satin or soft taffeta. Finally, I didn’t want the whole thing to look too plain but nor did I want to look like I’d stepped out of an 80s wedding. Elegant, glamourous, sexy, distinctive yet still me.

Seemed obvious and doable.

So, armed with that knowledge and an apparently respectable budget, I made appointments during this last week with a few salons that are nearish to my home town. I say nearish because apparently my town is the city that weddings forgot and there are very very few boutiques actually in the city itself. I resigned myself to driving up to two hours for one store that was doing a trunk show for Maggie Sottero gowns.

Upon departing said trunk show, I must humbly report that I don’t think anything quite prepared me for the sheer quantity of options overall however or incredulous attitude I’d meet upon politely informing the store attendant of my wishes and hopes.

Nor did all the advance research prepare me for the continuous crushing disappointment of being told that the 6 pretty dresses I wanted to try on did not come in Madame’s necessary size, or in fact in any size close enough to allow me to get it anywhere past one thick thigh. Apparently, a trunk show is industry lingo for “you must be Kate Moss to try these on”. I am not a size 0 (size 4 in wedding dresses) so I could not try on the trunk show samples.

I felt a little like poor Rudolph, who couldn’t join in the reindeer games.

I kept at it though and after 5 stores, I’ve found 5 decent possible dresses that bear little resemblance to one another other than the fact that they’re strapless and have ruching on the front.

None has jumped out at me though as The Dress. There have been no tears, no glow, no fast-beating heart or happy smile. All five would work for me, in five different ways.

But none has me saying “That’s it. That’s My Dress”.

So the search continues.

Keep Reading ...

You Don't Want To See Me Angry.....

I think there’s a huge misconception out there about what is defined as a bridezilla.

Most brides are afraid of being called a bridezilla, and the majority of people involved in a wedding are afraid that the bride will become one! As defined by www.dictionary.com, a bridezilla is “a bride-to-be who focuses so much on the event that she becomes difficult and obnoxious.” Now let’s break this down even further :)

Every bride out there will lose it at some point. Trust me on this. (At this point in time, I could probably be the poster child for this phenomenon.) But does make me, or any other bride for that matter, a bridezilla? I’d like to think not. Stress does funny things to you, but it doesn’t necessarily turn you into a monster. But a lot of people out there immediately categorize a stressed out or crying bride as a bridezilla. In fact, I believe a lot of people relish the idea of this and sit back, rubbing their hands together in glee, so they can gossip about the latest “incident” with the bride.

I’d like to break down hypothetical situations as that what I think is a stressed out (ie., normal) bride versus a bridezilla.

A bride who is crying because she realizes her bridesmaid has yet to alter her dress and it’s just a couple weeks to the wedding. Normal bride.

A bride who is yelling because her bridesmaid refuses to go exactly where SHE wants her to go to get her dress altered, months before the wedding. Bridezilla.

A bride who gives ideas of how she’d prefer her bridesmaids to wear their hair. Normal bride.

A bride who demands that her bridesmaids have their hair done THIS way, with THIS stylist, and refuses to pay for her demands. Bridezilla.

A bride who becomes frustrated with the constant change of a seating plan (hard work!) and vents to a friend or bridesmaid. Normal bride.

A bride to becomes frustrated with her seating plan and then demands that people will just have to “deal with” where their sitting, because she just “doesn’t care anymore” because it’s “her day”, not theirs. Bridezilla.

Starting to see a pattern here? Every bride (myself included) is going to stress out at some point, but that doesn’t mean that she’s turning into some green monster, rearing its ugly head, taking out everything (and everyone!) in its path. Although… that would make for a fun movie, wouldn’t it? ;)

So, my dear readers, I ask that you take pity on the poor brides-to-be out there. If you’ve gone through a wedding, you know how difficult it is for us and how stressful it is to organize everything, everyone, trying to make as many people happy as possible. If you haven’t experienced your own wedding, well, hopefully this entry will help you understand what we go through and how difficult it is to deal with the stress of planning a wedding.

Only 16 more days for me, then I can go back to being the quiet, lovely girl that I used to be :) (I hope!)