We're Gonna Be Alright

Today let's go with ...

“Along for the Bride”

One of my biggest struggles in the process of wedding planning has been the whole idea of “envisioning my dream wedding”. Most of the things I think I want (a pretty dress, good food, good music, and an open bar) are not based on some childhood fantasy, but rather on the things I’ve criticized about other peoples’ weddings.

Case in point: I realized that the physical staging of the ceremony was important to me not when I closed my eyes and pictured my own vows, but when I watched two friends stand awkwardly two feet apart during their ceremony a few weeks ago, largely because their officiant hadn’t given them direction during the rehearsal. While I’d never expect my partner and I not to hold hands during the ceremony, it was only then that it dawned on me how important it was. So, while I might not have my own unique wedding vision, I can at least envision the things I don’t want.

Only in ridiculing opulent wedding cakes in magazines did I realize that having one wasn’t important to me. Thankfully, the only dessert my fiancé wants at the end of the long day/night is a pizza-flavoured one. Our plan to go cake-less has met much resistance, but not from the usual suspects like mothers and aunts, but rather, from my decidedly non-married girlfriends. While slicing in to an overpriced slab of sugar has never been a part of my wedding vision, apparently the moment is something my friends, years away from their own weddings, have already decided is important, and think they I should think so, too. If it hadn’t been for Eva Longoria (-Parker) and the two page spread in In Style Weddings detailing her million-dollar meringue creation, I might have never realized that this is just not what we want, and that my hard-earned dollars are better spent on a sweet/savoury table that will please many more of our guests than any pretty pile of fondant ever could.

Still, it is becoming increasingly difficult to go about planning a wedding with only a “don’t do” list in my mind. Sure, I’ve torn pages from magazines of dresses and flowers I “think” are pretty, but how much do I really want these things? It is impossible to shop for a wedding dress when I cannot picture myself in one, and I have no sketches in my fourth-grade math notebook to remind me of what I’ve always wanted. Instead, I can sort of envision what I don’t want, and can see, clearly as wedding cake-topper, what others want for me.

In the end, the only thing I can really envision for my “dream day” is my fiancé and I as equals, surrounded by the people we love, having a good time and celebrating. And really, isn’t that all that matters? That, plus the glass of wine I envision in my hand. I am sure that if I stick to this vision, the rest will fall into place eventually.