The one (or not)...what they dont tell you

Wow! See what I mean about this whole "ignoring all things wedding" phase I'm going through?I've been ignoring you, the readership! I never really thought that would happen. In my defense though, I've been housebreaking a 7 week old puppy, I'd go on about that (partly because he's so cute, partly because it would be a good stall tactic in addressing wedding matters) but you came here to read about weddings, not puppies.

Part of the reason I don't think I've posted much about the wedding stuff is that there really aren't that many interesting developments going on recently. But I suppose for the sake of giving you something to read, I'll get comfy and think back to a busier time in the planning.

I think the single decision that took the most time and energy was the dress. And I think that was one of the most interesting experiences in this process to date Now, through the experiences of others and various forms of media, I felt well prepared for how this was to go. I was going to walk into a store, and try on a handful of dresses ranging from hideous to mediocre before I emerged from the dressing room saying "this is the one!" and all would be well. Or so I thought.

In reality, I went to five stores, most of them I visited twice. I either went with Mom or a friend. Trying on the first few dresses were surreal and just plain weird, but I was surprised at how quickly it became old! Old became overwhelming. Each of the dresses were different, but in a way, felt almost the same. I mean, they each had their own variation of "wow" to offer. The dresses ranged from mediocre to wow. And I was surprised at just how many "wow" dresses we encountered making the decision virtually impossible.

And then, I found the dress I thought to be "the one". I didn't have a "Oh my goodness, this is the one! Pass me a tissue!" moment, but then again, I don't get terribly sentimental about such things either. Mom, a friend and I all agreed. And the fact that even other customers in the store (that's right! Strangers!) commented on it. (Going forward, this shall be known as Dress A).

Before actually committing to it, Mom suggested we go to a store that was having a sale. I should point out that this particular store is reasonably priced on a good day and that the sale would be the cherry on top! I went into the store with the mindset of "I'm just looking. I 'have' my dress already." and in doing that, I obviously wasn't very open to the possibility of finding a dress there. I tried one on that Mom really liked (We shall call this one dress B). I liked it fine. Just as I liked the dozen other dresses I knew I wasn't getting just fine. Mom agreed with me that dress A was ultimately nicer. but on the drive home, Mom said some things that made me see reason. She said three things that resulted in me changing my mind and running back to buy dress B.

1. Although the two of us would know that dress A was out there and nicer than dress B, my guests would not know. They would see the dress for what it was and appreciate the wow factor in whatever dress I chose.

2. From her "been there, done that" perspective, she said, "When you buy that dress, and it's the one hanging in your closet, it becomes your dress, and the other dresses you tried on don't matter."

3. (Keep in mind dress A was about $900 and Dress B was about $400) When I was dwelling on the argument that dress A was indisputably nicer than Dress B, she said "Is it $500 nicer? I mean, there's the cost of your invitations right there!"....that was a light bulb moment for me.

I think there is so much hype about "finding THE dress" and "once in a lifetime" and "you don't want to regret..." that common sense escapes. Now, I know, there are brides out there who would have regretted such a choice. But I think its important to realize that not every bride is going to regret it. I think I'm a lot like my mom in that I'm the bride who brings her dress home and it doesn't matter how many other "wow dresses" I left at the store. The one I bought is MY dress. Its gorgeous, I look great in it and its going to be the one in my pictures. And thirty years from now, when I'm looking at those pictures. I'm sure I wont be able to tell you what dress A looks like if a million dollars depended on it.